– Notes and Quotes –
James Bond Film Series
“He has enough trouble being a single agent.”
Champagne vs shampoo
Commander John Strangways
—Pussy galore? How could he resist?
“Choose your next witticism carefully, Mr. Bond.”
“Do you expect me to talk?”
“No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die.”
Of course Goldfinger’s a ginger . . .
“There is nothing you can talk to me about that I don’t already know.”
“What can you tell me that I don’t know already?”
Pussy Galore’s Flying Circus, Auric Enterprises, Inc.
Goldfinger: “Man has climbed Mount Everest, gone to the bottom of the ocean, he has fired rockets at the moon, split the atom, achieved miracles in every field of human endeavor, except crime!” (1.09.00)
“Some men don’t like to be driven.”
“No. Some men just don’t like to be taken for a ride.”
My Life with the Thrill Kill Cult, “Moody No. 6”, sample, James Bond, Thunderball (23:00)
Licensed troubleshooter (36:00)
You Only Live Twice
They say it’s like a spaceship eat spaceship kinda universe, man.
Faked assassination attempt . . . living twice . . .
Sitting crosslegged at a sumo match (17:45)
Secret code: “I love you.”
“I have a car waiting.”
Henderson stabbed through the paper walls . . .
Villain clubbed with a statue . . .
“Oh, that’s, uh, stirred, not shaken, that was right, wasn’t it?”
“Russian vodka, well done.”
“Yeah, I get it from the doorman at the Russian embassy.”
Fighting with a couch (25:00)
Clubs villain, hides him in the bar, pours himself a shot of Siamese vodka . . .
“Rule number one is never do anything for yourself when someone else can do it for you.”
“And rule number two?”
“Rule number two, in Japan, men always come first. Women come second.”
“Oh. I just may retire to here.”
Aki interrupts Bond’s massage and is excited to “serve” under him.
Desktop x-ray invasion, Bond’s gun shows up.
Not even out the parking lot and the Japanese girl comes to his rescue.
Magnetic helicopter drops the Osato’s villains’ car into the water . . .
“Ah, welcome to Japan, dad. Is my little girl hot and ready? “
“Look, Double O Seven, I’ve had a long and tiring journey, probably to no purpose, and I’m in no mood for your juvenile quips.” (52:05)
Boy Scouts building a mini helicopter (53:00)
Fake lake hiding the villain’s hideout
Number one and his nervous cat petting, piranha discipline.
Bond’s Gun: Walther PPK
“So what’s the plan for me?”
“First, you become a Japanese. Second, you train hard and quickly to become a ninja, like us. And third, to give you extra special cover, you take a wife.”
Snakeman assassin with thread dispensing poison to Bond’s mouth, but Bond rolls, the sleeping girl catches the drip, licks her lips, dies poisoned.
Bond married a Japanese girl before his marriage to Tracey in “Majesty”
“Think again. You gave false name to priest.”
Inspecting the fake volcano
Blofeld villain, number one (1:39:00)
Open crater, crater opening
Close the crater . . .
On Her Majesty’s Secret Service
Saving a dumb woman (his eventual wife who is killed) from almost drowning herself . . .
Fight in the churning tides . . .
Car tires squealing out on sand . . .
“This never happened to the other fellow.” (6:50)
Transition: The word casino reflecting in a swimming pool. (10:35)
“People who want to stay alive play it safe.”
“Please stay alive, at least for tonight.”
Ambushed in Tracy’s hotelroom
Meeting Draco, kicks three henchmens’ asses, throws a knife at the calendar next to Draco, hits September fourteenth:
“But today is the thirteenth.
Draco: “Your dossier on me is not entirely complete.” (23:00)
“I give her too much and it brought nothing.” (24:40)
“I don’t need a million pounds. I have a bachelor’s taste for freedom.” (25:45)
“Same old Moneypenny. Britain’s last line of defense.” (27:00)
Bond resigns, Moneypenny changes the resignation to a request for leave of absence, and M agrees.
Cutie girl: “I think there are many things about Mr. Bond one does not know.” (32:20)
Coat of Arms: “We’ve traced your line . . .” Orbis Non Sufficit (45:55)
Bond: “It’s a nautical term you see meaning the baggie or sloan parts of sail.” (48:40)
“Yes, we live in a world of avarice and deceit.” (53:30)
No surnames, no medical histories, no room numbers
The blonde haired beauty in pink with the Princess Leia hair coil buns.
Girl writing her room number on the inside of Bond’s thigh underneath his kilt: “A slight stiffness coming on . . . in the shoulder.” (1:01:50)
“May all your allergies be swiftly cured.” (1:02:10)
Telly Savalas, Blofeld, born without earlobes (1:04:20)
Which way was 8? Bond’s got a Betty to bag. Make that two Betties as a second finds her way to Bond’s room #4.
“Fancy meeting you here, Fraulein.” *Wham* (1:18:20)
“Takes more than a few props to turn Double O Seven into a herald.”
“Take more than cutting off your earlobes, Blofeld, to turn you into a Count.”
“I may yet surprise you.”
“I have been training my own special angels of death.”
“Those girls. And many others like them.”
“In the meanwhile I will keep you here as my guest. You’ll be very useful in helping to convince the authorities that I mean what I say, and I’ll do what I claim.”
Pull the pockets out of pants to use as gloves, clockwork, gearwork, gondola work, elevator grease cables . . .
Escape on one ski
“Thank you, Tracy. You’ve got sharp eyes and beautiful . . . earlobes.” (1:43:45)
“Crashing” an auto race: “Hahaha. We didn’t even stop for the prize.” (1:47:50)
Ski chase, henchman falls into snow making combine: “He had lots of guts.” (1:55:00)
Running from the avalanche: “A grave deep enough I think to prevent even Double O Seven from walking.” (1:57:40)
Tracey is a double agent against Blofeld, storming the compound, Blofeld’s toboggan escape after the compound is destroyed.
Blofeld falling out of the toboggan and getting hung up in a tree: “He’s branched off.” (2:14:25)
Bond greeted by a Saint Bernard: “Never mind that. Go and get the brandy. Huh? Five star Hennessey, of course.” (2:14:50)
“Using” Tracy’s family as a “gadget”?: “Thank you, Q, but this time I’ve got the gadgets. I know how to use them.” (2:16:45)
“An old proverb. Her price is far above rubies, or even your million pounds.” (2:17:10)
Bond throws his hat at Moneypenny as though a bouquet.
M: “Ms. Moneypenny. What would you do without me?”
Moneypenny: “I always cry at weddings.”
Q: “Double O Seven never had any respect for government property.”
Tracey survives an avalanche but is gunned down in a drive-by shooting by Blofeld himself and Fraulein on the Bonds’ wedding day.
Diamonds are Forever
“If you see a mad professor in a minibus, just smile.”
“There goes that son-of-a-bitchin’ saboteur.”
“Humility is the worst form of conceit.”
Live and Let Die
“A bottle of Bollinger, slightly chilled, two glasses.” (32:00)
“Ten fingers on the fender!” (1:28:30)
The Man with the Golden Gun
A blast of a movie until the dumfuck chaw chewin’ American stereotype appears . . .
Tipped and sunken ship as headquarters . . .
“Bond. James Bond.” . . . . “British secret service, double O seven, license to kill. He’s good, even by my standards.” (46:30)
Two schoolgirls kicking ass (57:00)
Twenty thousand bucks, he shoves the kid overboard (1:00:00)
The golden gun is a lighter and various components, kills the Japanese boss, Fat (1:04:00)
“Seventy four, sir.”
“A toast . . . . to this moment and the moment yet to come.” (1:06:30)
??? ahora, a momento, que vera.
???a este momento y el momento en que están por venir
The Spy Who Loved Me
Hunted by Jaws while driving a Lotus
The spy who loved me. Bond and Beyond
“You are very suspicious.”
“Oh, I find I live much longer that way.” (25:00)
“From where I sit, I fancy you will find the lady’s figure hard to match.” (35:45)
“Right. Now pay attention Double O Seven . . .” “Q. Have I ever let you down?” “Frequently.” (1:02:15)
???“What a handsome crowd. Such lovely lions/lines.” (1:04:20)
Stromberg: “I am somewhat of a recluse. I wish to conduct my life on my own terms, and in surroundings with which I can identify.” (107:35)
A motorcyclist attacks, crashes into chickens in transport and then off the roadside cliff: “All those feathers and he still can’t fly.” (1:11:50)
Bond’s Lotus becomes a submarine and fires a missile at the helicopter that was chasing it, killing the girl. (1:15:00)
The mega ship swallows the submarine
Jet skiing out to the villain’s hideaway
Jaws attached to the overhead magnet: “How does that grab you?” (1:58:15)
“Bollinger. If it’s ‘69, you were expecting me.”
“Trifle overpowering, your scent.”
“Double O Seven doesn’t usually push the panic button unless it’s something serious.” (52:45)
“Have you broken anything?”
“Only my tailor’s heart.”
“Mr. Bond, you defy my attempts to plan an amusing death for you. You’re not a sportsman Mr. Bond. Why did you break off the encounter with my pet Python?”
“I discovered he had a crush on me.”
For Your Eyes Only
—Wild helicopter ride
“Moneypenny, a feast for my eyes.”
“What about the rest of you?”
“Well, I was going to get around to that.”
“A Walther PPK. Standard issue British Secret Service. License to kill . . . or be killed. Take him away.”
“My name is Bond. I’m a writer. I’m preparing a novel about Greek smugglers. Do you know any?”
“I know what you want. You’re too old for me. I’m splitting” (1:47:10)
“Toro? Sounds like a load of bull.” (1:40)
Cuba: A glider jet hidden in a horse cart . . .
“Here’s the original. I switched it with a fake during the auction.”
“You have a very good memory for faces.”
“And figures.” (30:20)
Tattoo: Blue Ringed Octopus
Sign of an
old secret order
of female bandits
“You have a nasty habit of surviving.”
“Well, you know what they say about the fittest.”
Set in India and no Indian actresses . . . ?
Never Say Never
Sean Connery returns in the wake of Roger Moore
Not the typical introduction
No Bond girl bodies undulating under colorful party lights . . .
Raids a den of kidnap and sex fiends, but the girl he saves stabs Bond, but it’s just an exercise . . .
“Not too shabby, sir.”
“You’re dead, Double O Seven, dead. You should have studied the plot more carefully. Fanatical revolutionaries kidnap a millionaire’s daughter and keep her captive for eight weeks, of course she could have been brainwashed. Could’ve turned. Evidently she did.”
“With due respect, sir, I played you’re war games for two weeks and I only got killed once.”
“Twice. You’ve forgotten the landmine on the Black Sea beach.”
“Correction, sir, I lost both legs, I did not die.”
“You were immobilized.”
“It can never be the same playing with blanks. It is somewhat different than the field. With your life on the line you . . . well you’re adrenaline gives you an edge.” (4:55)
Sending a Captain in to optical surgery so his retinal scan will match a person with presidential clearance access.
Number 12 threatens Jack’s sister’s life
Lengthy fight with ginger villain with beltwhip (20:00)
Bond kills the villain by throwing a sample of his own piss, the villain falls backward on a collection of glass bottles and other such breakable scientific equipment . . .
Girl throws python in guy with presidential eye’s car, he crashes, she gets her python and blows up the guy’s car.
Captain Jack Petachi, Kim Basinger as Domino Petachi
“I hope we’re gonna have some gratuitous sex and violence.”
“I certainly hope so, too.” (40:50)
Rowan Atkinson as Nigel Small-Fawcett
I’m so reckless. I’ve made you all wet.”
“Yes, but my martini is still dry.”
Diving, controlled shark attack
C’est la vie. Such is life. (1:00:00)
Formal dress video game arcade with full bar (1:05:00)
Video lazerbeam fight for countries, receiving a shock for each loss . . .
“As the stakes increase, so does the level of pain.” (1:10:30)
Bond wins, instead of getting paid, he settles for a dance with Domino
Motorcycle chase, Bond gets caught twice . . .
Blows up crazy Fatima with fountain pen gun rocket (deserving of Cobra Commander laugh)
“Yeah, maybe. I’m crazy.”
Selling Domino into slavery, rescued by Bond, horse chase ensues, rides horse off of castle keep, offshore submarine attacks pursuants . . .
Undersea exploration to stop Largo from launching his New York missiles . . .
Launch a rocket with a girl inside . . .
Never again . . . never?
A View to a Kill
“Successful cover becomes almost second nature.”
“I take it you ride.”
“I’m happiest in the saddle.”
“Intuitive improvisation is the secret of genius.”
The Living Daylights
Skydiving to an island to play the most dangerous game . . .
Unforgettable ride on top of a cargo truck
Hilarious stuntman hotdog salesman man diving out of the way of the truck . . .
Crashing the truck, parachuting out the back, landing on a yacht for a drink of champagne from a woman distraught by playboys and tennis pros . . .
Bond deliberately misses shooting a female sniper cellist . . . (14:45)
Q: ghetto blaster
“What’s this? From Harrods, it’s a godsend. The food here is horrible.”
“The frois gras is excellent.”
“Not enough. As Russians say, ‘Hearts and stomachs good comrades make. What’s this? Caviar? Well that’s peasant food for us, but with champagne it’s ok. Bollinger RD, the best!”
“Uh, the brand on the list was questionable, sir, so I took the liberty of choosing something else.” (24:20)
“Now, pay attention, Double O Seven.” (33:00)
The cellist sniper gets taken for KGB questioning, Bond dumps her rifle in the river.
Uses cello case disguised as girl in phonebooth the elude villains . . .
Car chase, Bond uses laser to slice police car into pieces . . .
Cello case as toboggan, sliding under the border crossing, “We have nothing to declare.” (47:45)
“How do you like my personal pantheon of great commanders?”
?Joe Don Baker, Villain, Whittaker: The American General
?Jack Wade in Pierce Brosnan movies
Pushkin is Salah from Indiana Jones
Yorgi and Blondie
Informant is sniped (1:04:00)
Bond means to smoke Pushkin who fakes own death as Bond gets hijacked by a couple of CIA ladies . . .
The cellist sniper is worried sick about Bond’s disappearance . . . (1:15:00)
“Black coffee for our guests.” (1:20:00)
Big fight for opium between Afghani rebels and Russian military (1:40:00)
Fear of crashing a plane full of opium, or a bomb exploding, or being attacked by the blonde villain, spilling packages of opium along the way . . .
License to Kill
“You have an assignment, and I expect you to carry it out objectively and professionally.”
“Then you have my resignation, sir.”
“We’re not a country club, Double O Seven. Effective immediately, your license to kill is revoked, and I require you to hand over your weapon.”
Manta ray disguise
Harpoon death: “Compliments of Sharkey”
“You’re bloody lucky to be alive.”
“It’s not luck. It’s experience.”(53:10)
Jet skiing from a harpoon line behind an amphibious airplane
Benecio del Toro
Turned to burger
Donate, and bless your heart
“Now, pay attention, Double O Seven.”
“Come along. Let’s see if you have the aptitude.”
Too damn pretty to be Bond
Diving off a dam
Sarkoffski? I gave him the limp.
“Who’s strangling the cat?”
“. . . take a hike!”
“Am I supposed to feel sorry for you?”
“No. You’re supposed to die for me.”
“That’s the trouble with the world today, no one takes the time to do a really sinister interrogation anymore.”
“Standard operating procedure.”
Dump over the library stacks and commandeer a tank . . .
The lake is a satellite dish . . .
“I might as well ask you if all the vodka martinis ever silenced the screams of all the men you’ve killed. Or if you find forgiveness in the arms of all those willing women for all the dead ones you failed to protect.”
“Darling. What could possibly go wrong?”
Tomorrow Never Dies
M brushed off for the discretion of the military . . . Bond completes his mission anyway and makes everybody look foolish . . .
The crouching tigress hidden dragoness herself, Michelle Yeoh, playing a Bond gal.
“Just brushing up on a little Danish.”
“You always were a cunning linguist, James.”
Q: “Grow up, Double O Seven.”
“They’ll print anything these days.”
Riding doubles on a motorcycle while handcuffed
Carver: “And even if they were looking for me, we’re on a stealth boat. They can’t see me, or you.” (1:37:15)
rock and ruin (1:39:45)
Saved by French kissing the passage of oxygen . . .
“I have a small favor to ask.” (1:06:00)
Yeoh: By god the woman could kick ass . . .
The World is Not Enough
“Would you like to check my figures?”
“Oh, I’m sure they’re perfectly round. “ (1:20)
“Oh pipe down Double O Seven.” (19:40)
“Now pay attention Double O Seven. I’ve always tried to teach you two things. First, never let them see you bleed.”
“And the second?”
“Always have an escape plan.”
Desmond Llewellyn: “I’ll keep playing Q as long the producers want me and the Almighty doesn’t.”
“Nothing comes for free, Sarkoffski.”
Robert Carlyle as a villain
Denise Richards as a Bond girl . . . Christmas Jones . . .
John Cleese as R playing assistant to Desmond Llewellyn’s Q.
“Do you want to put that in English for those of us who don’t speak spy?”
“. . . somebody’s going to have my ass.”
“First things first.”
“Surely you can feel this. Remember pleasure.”
“I could have given you the world.”
“The world is not enough.”
Elektra: Missing an earlobe
“Sarkoffski really hated you.”
“You would miss me.”
Bang, “I never miss.”
Crashing a submarine underwater
“I thought Christmas only comes once a year.” (1:59:00)
Die Another Day
Perhaps the worst Bond film ever.
Bond as an unuseful prisoner of war
Hovercraft chase (10:00)
“Saved by the bell.” (12:20)
Colin Salmon, the guy from Resident Evil
Madonna wishing she still had the looks and voice to be a Bond girl
John Cleese moves up from R to replace a deceased Desmond Llewellyn as Q.
M: “You’re of no use to anyone now.” (23:55)
???Halle Berry, Jinx, born on Friday the 13th (35:45)
“. . . harvest the DNA from healthy donors, orphans, Runaways, people won’t be missed . . .” (41:10)
“I like to think of myself as an artist.”
“Of course, you know, most artists aren’t truly appreciated until after they’re dead.”
???”I never get furious.”
Fencing: “Up the wager.” First one to bleed from the torso
“Oh, this is crazy. You’re a Double O.”
“It’s only a number.”
Laundering blood diamonds from the Sierra Leone in Iceland.
“So you live to die another day, Colonel.” (1:23:30)
Icarus satellite weapon
Bond in racer: “Hey, boss. He beat your time.” (1:28:50)
An indoor car chase crashes the ice hotel
Jinx throws The Art of War with a knife stuck in it, kick it into the girl’s chest, “Read this, bitch.”
“Time to face destiny.”
“Time to face gravity.”
?Chris Cornell theme song
Bashing a guy in a restroom sink
Kids with guns
Madagascar, cobra and mongoose fight . . .
Parcour chase and fight on crane
Storms an embassy
Blows a propane tank
“Apparently he’s in the last to Miami. You have all night to question me.”
“In that case we’re going to need some more champagne.”
Calls room service: “Good evening. Room service.”
“Good evening. Can I get a bottle of chilled Bollinger Grand Année, and a beluga caviar?” (39:20)
Fake nod to distract villain from stabbing him . . . (41:30)
Passes a bomb off to a villain after stopping a fuel truck from crashing into an airplane on the runway in Miami . . . (53:00)
Boring tet-a-tet between Bond and . . . the lead female Bond girl? (1:02:00)
The thrill of the hunt, the cunt hunt . . .
Ten million dollar buy in (1:10:00)
“You taste nice.” (1:15:00)
Fight in stairwell during one hour break, cleans up to return to the table . . . (1:22:00)
Another gambler who is actually CIA funds Bond to break Le Chifre (1:33:00)
“Sorry. That last hand nearly killed me.” (1:39:00)
Straight flush beats Le Chifre . . .
Martini: Why it’s called the Vesper . . . because of the bitter aftertaste . . . because after you’ve tasted it its all you want to drink . . .
“Why is it that people who insist on giving advice can’t take it?” (1:45:00)
Nailgunned the eyepatch through the eyepatch . . . (2:13:00)
The bitch is dead, called Mr. White . . .
Ends: The name’s Bond, James Bond . . .
Quantum of Solace
Cute female lead, Olga
“We have people everywhere.”
Car chase, Italian tile rooftop chase, one shot one kill . . .
The assassin, eighteen years of service, was M’s personal bodyguard for five years. (15:20)
Stabs an assassin in the neck, watches him die, gets a briefcase from the hotel front desk, walks outside, gets picked up by a cute girl, and then chased by a guy on a motorcycle . . .
“You’re supposed to shoot her.”
“Well I missed.” Swats the motorcycle away and steals it . . . (22:00)
Boat chase to save the girl from the general
Opera conference over headsets
“Gemma, go work on your tan.” (49:00)
Rene Mathias, Le Chifre . . .
In Bolivia, Bond bags the chick who threatens to arrest him . . . (56:00)
Mathias beat up and stuffed into the back of Bond’s SUV, police stop Bond, shoot Mathias
Airplane chase (1:08:00)
Dictators and liberators (1:29:00)
The mystery of Vesper Lynd somewhat demystified . . .
Naomi Harris as Eve Moneypenny driving it like she stole it
Rooftop motorcycle chase
Moneypenny after shooting Bond: “Agent down.”
I’d let her shoot me off a bridge into a river.
Skyfall is the Bond family property
M fired, attempted assassination
Bond on vacation
Scorpion drinking game (23:30)
Bond breaks into M’s house for the second time . . .
Ralph Fiennes, Mallory
“You gave it your best shot.”
“It was hardly my best shot.” (35:00)
“Do you get out in the field much?”
“You don’t need to be an operative to see the obvious. It’s a young man’s game.”
“Age is no guarantee of efficiency.”
“And youth is no guarantee of innovation.”
“. . . I can do more damage on my laptop sitting in my pajamas before my first cup of Earl Grey than you can do in a year in the field.”
“Oh, so why do you need me?”
“Every now and then a trigger has to be pulled.”
“Or nor pulled. It’s hard to know which in your pajamas. “
Elevator ride, sniping viewer of Modigliani painting, girl witness
Q’s afraid of flying . . .
Moneypenny shaves Bond, cleans up
Casino, chip from sniper
“Can you kill him?”
“Someone usually dies.” (1:02:30)
“I like you better without you Beretta.” (1:07:00)
Enter villain, Silva (1:12:00)
Shoots girl, wastes scotch (1:20:00)
Cyanide capsule, did not die . . .
Security through obscurity (1:27:00)
M quotes Tennyson, villain shoots up hearing (1:40:30)
“Orphans always make the best recruits.”
“Storm’s coming.” (1:47:00)
James Bond hid while his parents were killed . . .
The Animals, “Boom Boom Boom Boom” booming from the villain’s helicopter gunship (159:30)
Blonde villain, goddamn Malfoy . . .
“All this running and fighting. It’s exhausting.” (2:08:00)
Villain with gun to he and M’s head, “Free both of us.”
Bond throws knife into villain’s back for the kill . . .
Special Executive for Counter-intelligence, Terrorism, Revenge and Extortion (SPECTRE)
Dia del Los Muertos, Mexico City
Fail to snipe a target, the building face falls forward
Chase the target through the rubble
Reconvene in a wild helicopter ride
Bond: “Would you like a drink?”
Moneypenny: “No, thanks. I’m not staying.”
M.’s (Judy Dench) message: Kill Marco Sciarra
Q. injects Bond with a tracking device
Bond get 48 hours of spotty signal to escape
Blofeld (Christoph Waltz) in Rome (42:00)
Mr. [Dangerthumbs] Hinx (villain)
High speed car chase
Bond meets Mr. White:
“You’re a kite dancing in a hurricane . . .” *BANG*
Dr. Swann analyzes Bond’s psychological and physical needs. (103:00)
Airplane car chase, gondola ride (110:00)
Spectre’s not a person. It’s a place. (117:00)
Mr. Hinx interrupts Bond and Swann’s cocktail moment. (133:00)
He gets yanked off the train by a rope around the neck.
Bolfeld in the crater hideout (145:00)
Blowfeld: “You know what happens when a cuckoo hatches in another bird’s nest . . .” (152:00)
Bond: “Doesn’t time fly.” (156:00)
M. to C.: “Poor taste in friends.” (205:00)
From a boat, Bond shoots out the engine on Blofeld’s escape helicopter. (155:00)